Scott & Penelope II: StepSpider
by n5d25d90
Summary: When Jeff goes to visit his dad, he finds out Billy has kids of his own. Will Jeff like the idea of having a brother and sister? Or will he get jealous?
1. Chapter 1

I

I just

I just like

I just like to

I just like to waste

I just like to waste space.

-1-

**Ding dong!**

Grim growled as he got up from the sofa. "Who da heck could dat be, and why did dey have to interrupt me favorite show?" He opened the door.

"Hey, Grim! Is Dad here?"

Grim's sockets widened. "Uh…no…he's at work. But you can come in if you like."

The visitor nodded and entered the house. "I didn't know Dad had a job."

"Oh, he goes t'rough jobs like toilet paper, mon. Just like his dad."

"Grampa?"

"Uh…yeah…"

"What about Mom? Is she here?"

Grim stared at him. "I didn't know you considered Mandy your mother."

The visitor shrugged. "It just makes sense to me."

"Uh…very well. Lucky for you, it's her day off." He led the visitor to the kitchen, where Mandy was. She was sitting at the table with a newspaper and a coffee mug. "Um, Mandy? We…have a visitor…"

Mandy looked up from her newspaper and did a spit take (AKA she spit out the coffee in her mouth). "Jeff?"

Jeff grinned. "Hey, Mom!"

Mandy's eyes were almost as big as her head. "Grim? How much sand did you add to Jeff's hourglass?"

"Apparently, way too much," Grim said.

"Yeah. About 20 years too much," Mandy scolded, but she calmed herself down when she turned to Jeff. "Make yourself at home, Jeffy-boy."

The giant spider nodded. "Okay!" He walked into the living room.

Mandy turned to the skeleton. "How do we explain this to Scott and Penelope?"

"Heck, how do we explain dis to Billy?" Grim added.

-X-

A few hours later, Scott and Penelope came home from school.

Scott was the first to spot Jeff on the sofa next to Grim. He stopped in his tracks.

"What's wrong, Scott?" Penelope asked. Scott turned her head toward Jeff. Both sets of eyes widened and both sets of feet side-stepped into the kitchen.

"Uh, Mom?" Scott asked when he saw Mandy, who was still reading the same newspaper.

"Yep?" she said, not looking up.

"You do know there's a giant black widow spider in our living room, right?"

"Yep."

"Is there any real reason why he's here?"

"Yep."

"Is it because of Dad?"

"Yep."

"Lucky guess!" Penelope gleamed.

"Well, who else would he be here for?" Scott replied to Penelope.

"Good point."

Scott turned back to his mother. "So…why is he here?"

Mandy finally looked up from the newspaper. "He thinks Billy is his father. Long story. Don't wanna talk about it."

Penelope and Scott looked at each other, and then back at Mandy. "Don't wanna know, either," they said simultaneously. They walked back into the living room. "Uh…hi?" Scott said reluctantly to Jeff.

Jeff turned to them. "Hi!" Then he turned to Grim and whispered: "Who are the ugly kids?"

Grim chuckled. "Doz little monsters are Scott and Penelope. Dey're Billy and Mandy's…er…offspring."

"So…they're my brother and sister?"

"Uh…sort of…I guess…I mean, if dat's what you want to believe…"

Jeff grinned and turned to the two kids. "Hi! I'm Jeff! I'm your brother!"

"Cool!" Penelope shouted.

"Does this make me the middle child?" Scott asked.

"Now, run along children!" Grim said. "I want to watch me stories. No more interruptions, okay?"

Scott and Penelope nodded and ran off.

When they were gone, Jeff smacked himself in the head. "Wait a minute! I laid eggs! I'd be their sister then, right?"

"Eh, it's best dey don't know about dat…"


	2. Chapter 2

I forgot to put a disclaimer up on the last chapter…but by now you should know I don't own this show. Seriously, why would I post this on a fanfiction site if I owned the show?

-2-

"Mandyyyyyyy! I'm ho-ome!" Billy yelled as he entered the house with his eyes closed. A 1950's laugh track played, which confused Billy, so he opened his eyes and spotted Jeff.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

-X-

Mandy was STILL reading the newspaper in the kitchen when she heard the scream. "Billy's home."

When she said that, Billy ran into the kitchen. "Sp..sp…spider!"

"I know. Jeff's still alive. Can you believe it?"

"What's he doing here?!"

"He's here to see you. Now, be a good father and at least say 'Hi' to him."

"He is not my son! My son looks like you! Which is creepy!"

"Well, Jeff still thinks you're his dad, so say 'Hi' to him."

"But…"

"SAY 'HI' TO HIM!"

"EEK!" Billy shrieked as he ran back into the living room.

"Hey, Dad!" Jeff waved.

Billy started to shake. "Uh…h-hi…" He honestly didn't know what was scarier: his supposed spider "son" or his own wife.

The red-headed man gulped. "S-so…what brings y-you here…?"

"I just wanted to see my dear old dad again!" Jeff gleamed. "Just in case…you know…I die. Which surprisingly hasn't happened yet."

"Oh. Swell. Leave."

"But…I just got here…three-and-a-half hours ago!"

"T'ree-and-a-half hours I'll never get back," Grim mumbled, watching the stupid show that was currently on TV.

"So, wanna do something together, Dad?" Jeff asked.

Um…I'd love t-too…but…I'm gonna play catch with my…um…son…"

"Okay! I'll get my catcher's mitt!"

"Uh…I meant Scott."

"Oh…okay… we'll play catch afterwards then."

"Uh…yeah…" Billy gulped as he went upstairs.

Mandy entered the living room. "The obituaries section is surprisingly long this week."

"What can I say? I love me job," Grim grinned.

"At least someone around here loves their job…and can still keep it," Mandy said sternly. She turned to Jeff. "So, you staying the night or what?"

"Well, I'm staying long enough to play catch with Dad," Jeff replied.

"He's…not going to play catch with you."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Billy doesn't like you. You know that, right?"

Jeff's expression saddened. "But…he likes Scott…doesn't he?"

At that moment, Billy tumbled down the stairs and landed awkwardly, his butt in the air. "I guess we'll play catch later." He got up and walked into the kitchen to get something to eat.

"Well, he still wants to play catch with him, so I'd say yes," Mandy answered.

"So…how come he likes Scott and not me?" Jeff asked. "I'm his son, too."

"Here's an idea: ask him yourself," Grim grumbled.

Jeff gleamed. "You're right, Grim! I'll ask him!" He went into the kitchen. A scream was heard throughout the house.

"I don't think your idea is working, Grim," Mandy said.

Grim just shrugged.

-X-

Billy was on top of the fridge. "Why can't you just go away?!"

"Dad, how come you like Scott, but you don't like me?" Jeff asked.

"Go away!"

"Um…okay…but can you answer my question first?"

"Go!"

Jeff sighed sadly. "Alright, if that's what you want…"

"I'LL SQUISH YOU IF YOU DON'T GO!"

"Alright, alright!" Jeff said. He left the kitchen. "I guess he wants me to go," he said to Mandy and Grim.

"We heard," Mandy said. "Bye, Jeff."

"Bye," Jeff said as he left the house. As he did, he started having twisted thoughts. _It's probably that so-called son of his, Scott! He probably brainwashed my dad somehow! He made Dad forget about me and all the fun and unforgettable times we shared! But I'll show him…_


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own Billy and Mandy. If I did, would I really put this on a fanfiction site?

-3-

The next day was a bright and sunny day…heh, I'm kidding. It was actually raining pretty hard.

Mandy woke up and yawned. She looked out her window. "Darn…maybe I should've taken today off instead." She got out of bed, showered, and put on her work clothes. She went back into the bedroom to see her husband was still asleep. "Lazy, good-for-nothing…" She shook Billy by his shoulders.

"F-five more minutes, Mommy…" Billy droned as his eyelids opened halfway and shut again.

Mandy slapped him in the face.

"Okay! Okay! I'm up!"

The blonde nodded at a job well done and left the room. Along the way she stopped at Penelope's room. 'Hmm…she's usually awake by now,' she thought. 'Doesn't Scott's alarm clock smashing wake her up?' A scary thought occurred to her. 'I didn't hear it either!'

She ran to Scott's room and peered inside. She gasped. "Scott!"

Billy ran up to her. "What's wrong?" He looked inside the room. "AAAAAHHHHH!!!"

On Scott's bed was a large wad of wiggling spider silk. In the corner of the room stood…

"Jeff?" Mandy was shocked to no end. "What…what did you do to Scott?"

"Huh? Oh! Hey, Mom! I'm just gonna inject him with spider venom so he'll expire and Dad will accept me as his son again," Jeff said in a nonchalant manner.

"You didn't inject him with it yet, did you?" Mandy asked.

"Nope! But I was about to."

"Okay." Then she slapped him. "Let him go, Jeff, or I'll beat you within an inch of your life!"

"Okay, okay!" Jeff cried as he undid the silky web entombing the blonde boy. "I just wanted Dad to love me again."

"Well, you have a nice way of earning his love," Scott groaned sarcastically.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I don't know what came over me," Jeff said, frowning. "I guess I was…jealous…"

Billy was too shocked and scared to speak, so Mandy spoke for him. "I think you should go, Jeff."

The spider nodded, admitting defeat. As he left the room, he turned to Billy. "I love you, Dad."

Billy just stared at his feet.

Jeff sighed and left the house.

"You know, I didn't really like him, but I kinda feel bad for him," Billy said.

Mandy shrugged. "Well, anyone that tries to waste my son after all those painful hours it took for me to…well…'push him out'…is on my most-hated list for sure."

"Ooh! I remember when I was on that list!"

-X-

"What happened to Jeff?" Penelope asked a few days later.

"Dis girl's kinda slow, huh?" Grim chuckled.

"Jeff hasn't been here for days, sweetheart," Mandy said, slightly twitching from saying the word "sweetheart".

"Aww…I thought I was gonna have another brother to play with," Penelope sighed.

"I'm sure he'll visit us again someday," Grim said, attempting to cheer her up.

"Who'll visit us?" Penelope asked dumbfounded.

The others looked at each other with raised eyebrows. "Uh…Santa Claus!" Billy finally exclaimed. "Yeah! He'll visit us someday."

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!" Penelope gleamed, running around stupidly until she ran into the fridge and fell over.

"Hard to believe she's your kid, huh?" Mandy asked Billy sarcastically.

"Nah, I did that just last week," Billy chuckled as he put on his fry cook apron.

"I feel sorry for your customers, Billy," Grim droned.

"Hey, if Freckle Burger hired my dad, they can hire me, too," Billy said as he walked out the door.

"Yeah, well your dad was also fired, too," Grim said monotonously to no one in particular.

-X-

EPILOGUE TIME!!!!!!!!! (YAY!)

"So, what did we learn today, Scott?" Penelope asked.

"I learned that being a middle child sucks," Scott replied.

"And?"

"I learned that spiders will kill you if they think you're stealing their dad."

"And?"

"…I don't know. What else did we learn today?"

"Santa's coming! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

"Uh…Penelope, it's April. Santa doesn't come 'til December."

"He's still coming, though."

"…Are you sure we're related?"


End file.
